Pat Kiernan, I Love You

You may not know about the adorable newsman who wakes up with New Yorkers every day and reads us the morning papers but let me tell you, he is our real-life Ron Burgundy. Pat is our cold morning cereal news buddy supreme. All non-New Yorkers may recognize him as the deadpan host of that short-lived trivia show on VH1, the World Series of Pop Culture, where he dryly recited the lyrics to “My Humps” as if it were Robert Frost. He’s done bit parts in New York-centric movies like The Interpreter and Night at the Museum, where he always plays himself. He has to, because Pat Kiernan is so damn real, that to say he is “keeping it real” can’t even begin to describe his high levels of cosmic realness. Modestly he shrugs off the calls, nay, the deafening chorus of voices begging him to move to a national platform, like another local anchor that used to be our little secret: Sam Champion (also awesome, but in a totally different way.) Mr. Kiernan declines. “No!” says he to puff pieces and cooking segments and chattering menopausal co-hosts because the great PK would rather read the hard news to the people of the hard city. Pat Kiernan is a New Yorker in the best sense, in that he is actually Canadian. He admits that, growing up in Alberta, his biggest thrill was meeting a local AM newsman in Calgary. He is obviously chief of the tribe of sandy-haired Canadian news nerds, but he loves New York so much that he gets up at 3 am to get to the studio and start reading us the news while we’re still wearing eyeliner and a black light hand stamp from the night before. He does his own makeup and makes French toast on an electric skillet in the newsroom. Paul Rudd named his fantasy football team after him. He looks like a handsome newscaster Muppet. He loves Slurpees and dreams of owning his own Slurpee machine. At the Geekmocalypse, he may be standing in judgment over us all. For all these reasons and more, the Lady Geek nominates Pat Kiernan. Sir, we salute you.

patty cake

2 Responses to “Pat Kiernan, I Love You”

  1. Another Anonymous Says:

    just stumbled upon this! being in college has torn me away from home so I cannot watch Pat Kiernan every morning. I truly miss “in the papers” and his witty side comments.

    This is so awesome :]

  2. WeWantPatKellyLive (@LivePatKelly) Says:

    We love Pat, too!

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